Time Out

As I mentioned before, this month is a time out. I need my annual exam and due to my past history, I would rather wait for the all clear on my Pap before the next round of trying.

I finally got around to calling the Dr. to schedule the exam. Guess when her next available annual exam appointment is. October 1st. Four freakin months away. Are you kidding me. I can get an appointment with her next day for any fertility stuff, but for routine maintenance I need a four month lead time. How does that make sense?

They did ask if I wanted to go on the wait list. Then they informed me that the waiting list was very long. That totally makes it better.

I ended up pulling out the old insurance card and finding a Gyn about 2 miles down the road who was able to get me in within the week. They told me that it was a 5-8 day wait for pap results, so I should be a go for next cycle if all goes well.

I know the odds are good that it will be fine, but I can't help but indulge myself in a little worry. Not so much about the procedure to deal with it. The LEEP was a piece of cake considering my nightmare fantasies that I played in my mind. The fear is more of delaying again and also of further damage to my cervix. I got off pretty lucky last time with minimal damage. I don't want a new set of issues to deal with.

I also just want it to go away forever. The potential will always loom over me. I know that the odds are good that it will never be a problem again, but it is always there, in the back of my mind.

I have a plan though. And the plan is good because it will benefit me on so many levels. I am going healthy. Only water and the occasional tea. Eating better. More veggies and less junk. And more exercise. The stronger my body, the better chance of it keeping the HPV squashed down. And I will look and feel better. These are things I should already be doing, but let's face it, I'm lazy. I'm lazy but not stupid and I don't need another scare to make me do the things I should be doing. The change starts now. Wish me luck.