The Procedure

I was amazed at how calm I was leading up to the actual IUI. Normally I worry and obsess over every little medical thing, but I was relaxed and confident.

Since we live so far from the OB/GYN office, we had to decide when to "collect". It finally occurred to me that there was a men's restroom in the main lobby of the woman's center where my Dr's office is. Since we needed to be there early and since it was a woman's center, I was confident that there would not be a huge crowd for the men's room and the Husband would have privacy to do his thing. He wore cargo pants and tucked the little specimen cup into the side pocket and I waited in the car until he came out and bagged the "collection" in the paper lunch bag we brought just for the occasion.

I was told that someone would be in the office by 7:30 am, but when I got to the door it was locked. I could see lights on in the reception area so I knocked and Little Bo Peep (did I mention that it was Halloween?) came to the door and whisked the Husband's little swimmers away to be washed and spun. I questioned the fact that they wrote nothing on the label of his specimen cup to mark them as ours, but they assured me that we were the only ones there with sperm for the day and it would be fine.

We had breakfast and walked through Target until it was time for the procedure. When I told the receptionist that I was going to run to the restroom, she told me to hold it and to drink more if I could since a full bladder was better. I wish someone had mentioned this sooner.

Within 15 minutes of my second arrival, I was taken back to a room by a pregnant nun. I was told to strip from the waist down and sit on the funky reclining table with the paper sheet over my naked parts. I usually am left in these freezing cold rooms forever, but I only waited about 5 minutes before Dr. Wonderful (Yay!) came in with her sexy vampire assistant and got down to business.

I put my feet in the stirrups and scooted down to the edge of the table. The actual procedure took about 2 minutes from speculum to done. I felt a slight cramping sensation when she inserted the long, skinny tube thingy, but no actual pain or even discomfort.

The vampire quickly tilted my table back until I almost slid off head first and then adjusted the head part back up until I felt like I was sitting in a big baby carrier. Dr. Wonderful asked if I was cold and then told me that she wanted me to stay like this for 20-30 minutes and then a nurse would come back and let me know when I could get up and get dressed.

I didn't wear a watch and there were no clocks in the room, so I have no idea how long I actually stayed there, but it felt longer than 30 minutes. Longer is better I guess. I had brought a book to read, but opted to just lay there and concentrate on getting pregnant.

Finally the nurse came back and I cleaned up and got dressed. I was very surprised at how much liquid there was. When I told the Husband, he asked if I was worried that everything got to where it needed to be. I told him that Dr. Wonderful had mentioned the wet factor and that I am sure it was normal, but I still worried until I came home and researched it.

When I was cleaning up I noticed a slight hint of pink and when I got home it was a very light shade of dark pink, like old blood. Just the slightest bit and no cramping at this point. I went back to bed since I had to work that night and when I woke up I felt fine. About 9 pm that night, 12 hours after the IUI, I felt a cramping feeling in my right ovary area and back. I am wondering if it was ovulation. I drank some water and the feeling went away. It lasted about 1 hour total time. The next morning I had slight cramping in the same area, but milder and it only lasted for about 15 minutes. I have felt completely normal since then.

Dr. Wonderful said that I can test 2 weeks from the day of the IUI. Anything before that could read false positive I guess. I am trying to be cautiously optimistic, but I have a good feeling about this cycle. We will know soon enough I guess.

Update on the shot

Sorry about leaving anyone hanging, but these last several days have been insane for us because of a huge craft sale a good friend and I were doing. That is over and I am here to fill in all the details on our little adventure.

I am scared of needles. I have gotten better (don't you kind of have to when you are undergoing fertility testing and treatment? It's really inconvenient to panic and faint that often.), but I still am very nervous about them and just try not to think about it too much when I need a shot or blood drawn. That was my plan for this Ovidrel shot and it worked until about 5 hours before the scheduled 9 pm torture.

I read the instructions several times and decided that 8 pm would be plenty of time for the meds to get to room temp. At about 8:50 pm I handed the Husband the instructions and went to the first aid kit to pull out gauze pads and alcohol swabs. By 9 pm on the dot the Husband was on his knees, pinching by belly fat and ready to jab the needle in. This is when the real panic set in. I wasn't sure if I was going to hyperventilate or pass out first. I was holding onto the bathroom counter for support and was afraid to open my eyes for fear of seeing the needle jamming into my stomach in the mirror.

Turns out I didn't feel a thing. He told me the needle was already in and the only time I might have felt a slight sting was for a fraction of a second when he started pushing the plunger. He did the whole professional hold the gauze pad over and remove the needle and I held it there for a few minutes, but when I took it away I couldn't even see where the needle had punctured me or feel where it was either. I did develop a bruise about the size of a quarter in the spot, but it is not sore at all.

Later that night I crawled into bed and started thinking that I really should have read the info that came with the meds to know what side effects to look for (translation: worry about). Good thing I did the shot before reading the side effects. I told the Husband that I was even more resolved that if this cycle doesn't work then we move on to adoption. The thought of OHSS is enough to make me light headed, and the risk for cancer, minute as it might be, is not something I am willing to risk time and time again.

Tomorrow I will give you all the crazy details of the actual IUI procedure. I had a hard time finding really good details from people who have experienced IUI when I did a search, so I want to give a really detailed blow by blow of my experience so maybe it will help someone frantically googling IUI to know what to expect.

Getting ready for our first IUI

Long time no update. Well, after the depressing cancelled cycle a few months ago, I did a month of BC pills. I used to love my BC pills. Until I went on them I always had really irregular cycles, sometimes 6 weeks long, and horrible cramping when my period actually showed up. Once we decided to start trying and I went off the pill I was worried my cycle would revert back to unpredictable, but amazingly it has stayed at a rather consistent 28-29 days with the rare exception.

In my fond recollections of the pill, I forgot the miserable nausea that accompanied that first month of adjusting. I survived it and was rewarded with a much lighter period and cramps so mild I never even needed Tylenol. Too bad I am over 35 and would rather not stroke out or I would be back on the pill so fast (after having a baby of course) that your head would spin.

I did the Femara for cycle days 5-9 and went in yesterday for my day 12 ultrasound. I had mentally prepped myself for failure so when the wonderful tech (no Dr. McBitch thankyouverymuch) pointed out a few good prospects on my right ovary, I was just a little excited. Of course my underachieving left ovary couldn't contribute, but what can you do.

Both Dr's were in surgery so I was told they would review my scan and have a nurse call me either later that day or the next morning with directions for the next steps. I had been gone from the office for about 30 minutes when Dr. McBitch called and told me that I had two great follicles at 17mm and 18mm and also a giant follicle ready to go at any time that measured 25mm. She suggested timed intercourse for that night and then the Husband was cut off until his "donation" on Friday morning at 8 am. Once we drop that off, we can have breakfast and be back at 9 am for the procedure. He gets to jam a needle in my stomach for the Ovidrel tonight at 9 pm.

They forgot to give me a specimen cup so I have to go to the local lab and swindle them out of one per the Dr's instructions. We live close to an hour away from the office so I need to consult with the Husband and see if he would rather chance an old sample by doing his part at home or an arrest for indecent exposure by finding a secluded parking lot closer to the office. The first time he went through this for testing purposes, we also lived far from the lab and were lucky to be the only ones on an empty level of a parking garage. This office has no parking garage so wish us luck.

I guess I will report back on how the injection went if I don't die from the mere thought of him stabbing me with the needle. I just took the package out of the fridge where it has been sitting since the last cancelled cycle and took a look at the needle. It is sealed up in it's little package and I didn't want to break it open yet, but judging by the cap it is not as big as I had imagined it to be. Still, I get a little light headed just thinking about it.

Wish us luck.

Will this cycle never end?!?

Okay, today is day 32 of this cycle. You would consider the fact that I might be pregnant, but not so according to the pregnancy test, carefully taken with first morning urine yesterday. I have the occasional feeling of pre-periodness, but not a spot or real cramp.

I suppose it could be from re-starting the Femara after a 2 cycle break. It could also be the stress from the loss of my much loved cat, Sam. It's been a little over a week since we came home from work to find that he had passed away peacefully in his sleep in his favorite chair. While I am glad that his end was so peaceful and quiet, I am also devastated over his loss and I am sure this could be tweaking my cycle.

I won't panic until Monday. That's the plan at least.

We had previously decided that if this cycle didn't work that the next cycle would be in vitro, but the Husband thinks he deserves on more shot at getting the job done himself. He is sure that he can do it if he just gets one more chance. Honestly, I am a little afraid to jam that needle into my stomach so if he needs another month to move on, then so be it.

The Wii Fit is everything we had hoped it would be. We are both hopelessly addicted to it. The Husband was all "you shouldn't weigh yourself everyday" at first, but now he is as insane as I am about it. We actually let our take out food sit around and get cold the other night so that we could test before we ate. And you don't have to actually see your weight ever if you don't want to (and I really, really don't, but I hit it once by accident). It will tell you your BMI and then will tell you how much you lost or gained in pounds. Sometimes it will only say you lost or gained a little, but if you set goals it will tell you how much weight you need to loose (or gain I suppose if you don't live in this house) and you can track actual weight loss by remembering that number from day to day. We are averaging about .3 lbs lost per day.

The games and training are insanely fun. We have both mastered several of them and new stuff keeps coming available every time we play. I actually went on a run yesterday and it was not complete torture. Trying to stay behind the other Mii kept me focused on not going too fast and I didn't have time to think about how much I hate to jog. The yoga is fun, but I think I really need the yoga mat to fully enjoy it. I do have to say it is super cute watching the Husband to yoga. He is not the type at all, but he tries so hard and he's not bad at it either.

So far I have set a goal of loosing 2.5 lbs in 2 weeks and succeeded and have now set another goal of 4 lbs in 2 weeks and am working on that. I honestly think the Wii Fit is keeping me on track to eating better. Both the Husband and I have caught ourselves rethinking an eating choice because we are afraid of what the Wii will say to us. It's really mean. Also, seeing my little Mii get all chubby was hard to watch.

I will keep you posted on my Wii Fit progress and if I ever start a new cycle. I keep thinking that if I am not pregnant that I am going to loose a ton of weight after this cycle finally starts. Horrible I know, but ya gotta look at the bright side sometimes.

Ultrasound Update

I had an ultrasound done on Friday (day 12) to see how well my ovaries responded to the Femara. Not so great actually.

I had follicles, just not as many as we hoped for and most were underachievers. I did have 1 decent size follicle on each ovary.

There is hope. My Dr. said she would not tell me it couldn't happen since she just had a patient in the exact same situation who she told it was not going to happen and it did. We are doing timed intercourse for the next week or so. I go in on cycle day 21 to have some more blood work. They are checking the progesterone to see how well I ovulated. I should know more then.

If it doesn't work this month then we will double to the dosage of Femara for next month and try again. If this doesn't work then we might need to look into insemination with a trigger shot. If that doesn't work after 3 tries then she will want to do a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. I really don't think it will get that far. I ovulate on my own and have gotten pregnant twice before. I can do that part with relative ease. I just really need help staying pregnant once I get that way.

More updates as they come.

Lots of news, some of it is even good

I got the results of my blood work back and everything is normal. They did put me back on Metformin once a day, to be upgraded to twice a day if I do well with it. My progesterone levels were low, but that is normal at cycle day 3.

Good news that I am mostly normal, but bad that we still have no explanation for the mid cycle breakthrough bleeding. I still think that my mid cycle progesterone levels are low, but that's just a theory and is not really a problem since the Clomid will resolve that problem anyway.

I expressed my concern about the bleeding to the nurse who called with my results. She said she would speak with the Doctor and call me back. She called the next day to say that the Doctor was not at all concerned that the bleeding was related to my past cervical issues. She did order an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries to check my lining thickness and make sure everything was normal. This set us back another month, but I just need to be sure that everything is good to go before we proceed.

I had the ultrasound Monday afternoon. I had to drink 36 oz of water an hour prior to my appointment. I have done this before, when about 5 weeks pregnant, and remember forcing the Husband to stop at every Gas Station we passed so I could pee. I was really hoping that it was the pregnancy hormones that made me so miserable last time and that it would be less traumatic this time. Wrong. Very, very wrong.

I have never been to this office from my house. Based on a friend's estimate, I planned on a 20-30 minute drive. I had to be there at 3:30 to register for my 4:00 appointment. I left my house at 2:50. I started drinking right at 3:00 and finished by 3:30. At this point I was still no where near the office. Apparently my friend was the only car on the road when she timed this trip. To make matters worse, once I got there I had no idea exactly where I was going. This would normally not be a problem, but by this time I was screaming at other motorists and cursing the Florida Dept of Transportation for the poor road conditions that caused bladder torturing jarring.

I made a command decision to go into the Women's center (attached to the main hospital and the home of my OB/GYN office) to find a bathroom and pee (just a little, I swear) and get directions to the radiology department. In my agony, I rushed right past the restroom, and busted into the Mammogram area. I was practically dancing as I asked for directions to the nearest restroom and radiology. First she slowly typed in my name and told me that I needed to go next door. Then she questioned if I was allowed to use the restroom. I informed her that it was not negotiable and she pointed to the restroom that I had run past in my hurry to get directions.

After a quick tinkle, I headed over to the main building and was given directions to the registration desk. I quickly signed in with the volunteer and then told her I was going to be in the restroom across the lobby for a minute if they were looking for me. I spent the next three minutes trying to justify skipping this test. I am usually good at justification, but I knew I needed to get it over with. I swear I just peed a tiny little bit. It didn't even help. As soon as I sat down in the waiting area, they called me over to register. I wanted to scream as I answered the same questions I had already answered on the phone when I made the appointment.

After a 5 minute inquisition, I was pointed over to the radiology desk. I stood there for about 20 seconds listening to several employees talking in a room right beside the desk. I finally got someone's attention and they were kind enough to call back and see how long my wait would be. The tech came and got me in under 2 minutes. I had debated having another tiny pee, but wasn't sure I could make it all the way to the restroom without wetting myself. I just stood there praying the room was close by. It was.

The tech assured me that she would only need about 5 minutes. I had to drop my pants and panties to my knees and she did her thing. I had a good view of the screen and while I am no expert, I did not see anything obviously out of place and she didn't circle anything. I was allowed to pee and then strip from the waist down for the fun part. She was a bit brutal with the wand, but it's really not her fault. My left ovary is in a funky place and it takes a bit of work to get a good view of it. She would not give me a hint about anything. I spent the second part of the ultrasound studying her face and looking for clues since the screen was no longer in my field of vision. She should really play poker. I got nothing. I could have had a third ovary and she would not have flinched.

I finally got the results Friday. It all came back normal with the exception of a small cyst on my right ovary. This explains the occasional twinges I get. From the brief conversation I had with the nurse, this is not a bad thing and can even help sustain a pregnancy. I need to research that more to fully understand why, but it sounds like a positive thing.

So, we are on for a clomid cycle. I have to call on cycle day 1 and they will call in my prescription and give me the instructions. I will start having ultrasounds on cycle day 12 until they tell me to shoot up with the ovidrel.

More as it happens.

Progress

The new OB/GYN is amazing. She is very easy to talk to and wants to take an aggressive approach to getting me pregnant and keeping me that way.

I went and had blood work drawn today for 22 different tests. I almost needed a transfusion after they were done. This blood work was timed to check assorted hormone levels. I can't wait to see if my self diagnosis of low progesterone is right.

Now we wait for the results and for my many other Doctors (as well as the Husband's Urologist) to send over our records for her to review.

She has already told me that barring a freakish result on one of my tests or something in my records that is way off what I told her, that I will be starting Clomid and another injection next month. She sent me home with a folder with info about the treatments. The highlight of the injection is getting to jab a needle completely into my stomach on a daily basis. As much as I hate needles, I am actually excited about the prospect of doing it if it means we can end up with a healthy child in the end. I would do it every day for the next 18 years if I had to.

Had a huge convo with my Grandmother today. I ended up in tears telling them how I feel that I have let them and my parents, particularly my Mom, down by not having a baby yet. She told me that they (my Grandaddy and her) were not sure we were still even trying and that they had accepted that we may not want one.

She also said that my Mom had told her that she still really wants grandchildren but understands that neither my SIL or I may be able to provide that and she has come to terms with that. We also discussed adoption and I feel a lot more comfortable that an adopted child would be treated the same as a child actually born to me. Not that I thought my family would reject an adopted baby, but I had no idea how my Grandparents would feel. I knew they would love the child because that is just how they are, but I worried that they would somehow feel less attached to him or her. I guess I should have known better since my cousin (the son of my Grandmother's older sister. He is closer in age to my mother than to me because my Grandma is the baby of the family) is adopted and he was treated the same as any other Niece or Nephew in the family.

Mostly they just want the Husband and I to be happy and have the family that we want.

I just want to give them a great grandchild while they are still able to enjoy him or her (or both).

Speaking of both, I am secretly happy about the increased chance of multiples that the Clomid will bring. I will be ecstatic to have one healthy baby, but the chance to have two would be a wonderful gift.

I guess we get to see how the deductibles works on our new insurance. I get to pay 10% of every blood test known to man. Can't wait to see how much that works out to be. Luckily my employer reimburses us for the first $2,000.00.

More updates as they happen.

That wasn't so bad

We are back from the surgery and it went well.

I have to admit I was a little freaked out when they let me back to see him before the surgery. I am not used to seeing him sick or vulnerable, so the sight of him lying on the hospital bed with IVs and monitors, wearing the gown, the super cool hairnet and booties shocked me a bit.

He was getting impatient because the Dr. was 45 minutes late, but once they gave him the Versed he was a happy camper. So happy he asked for a couple of hits to-go and was trying to score some for me.

We were told the procedure would last 45 minutes, so when the Dr. called my name after only 20 I had a momentary internal freak out. Turns out it is fatty deposits, possibly a fatty tumor. I see many an inside joke about this in the future. Of course "the thing" will be sent to be tested, but he was confident that it is benign.

The Husband was a little nauseous upon waking, but they popped something in his IV and put a cool, damp cloth on his head. He was feeling well enough to eat ice, sip water and eat a few saltines and then we were allowed to leave. He is currently in no pain. He is actually playing Pac-Man as I type and has already said he wants to go out to a few stores this evening for stuff for the new house. I picked up his pain pills just in case, but he may not even need them.

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers. They really helped. He goes back to the Urologist next Monday for a follow up and they will discuss the semen analysis results then.

Update on the Husband

The Husband went back to the urologist and had a nice convo with him regarding "the thing". This appointment was much better than the last. The Dr. was not so rushed and while he still could not give the Husband much in the way of what he thought it might be, he was still very reassuring that it was probably nothing serious.

He also assured the Husband that it was no where near any essential baby-making areas and was at no risk of damaging anything important. Possibly freaked out by the Husband's many questions regarding the fertility damage potential, he ordered a semen analysis for him for before and after the procedure. I guess he wants to cover his butt. That is fine with us since the Husband has not had one in 6 years and since he ordered it as part of the treatment for "the thing" it is covered under our insurance.

The Husband did the first test the other day and surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. He claims he is not worried, but I am a bit. I know they will send it off for testing, but I am hoping the Dr. will tell us what he visually diagnoses it as after the procedure tomorrow. It will be very comforting to hear benign cyst, which is what we are hoping it is.