I was amazed at how calm I was leading up to the actual IUI. Normally I worry and obsess over every little medical thing, but I was relaxed and confident.
Since we live so far from the OB/GYN office, we had to decide when to "collect". It finally occurred to me that there was a men's restroom in the main lobby of the woman's center where my Dr's office is. Since we needed to be there early and since it was a woman's center, I was confident that there would not be a huge crowd for the men's room and the Husband would have privacy to do his thing. He wore cargo pants and tucked the little specimen cup into the side pocket and I waited in the car until he came out and bagged the "collection" in the paper lunch bag we brought just for the occasion.
I was told that someone would be in the office by 7:30 am, but when I got to the door it was locked. I could see lights on in the reception area so I knocked and Little Bo Peep (did I mention that it was Halloween?) came to the door and whisked the Husband's little swimmers away to be washed and spun. I questioned the fact that they wrote nothing on the label of his specimen cup to mark them as ours, but they assured me that we were the only ones there with sperm for the day and it would be fine.
We had breakfast and walked through Target until it was time for the procedure. When I told the receptionist that I was going to run to the restroom, she told me to hold it and to drink more if I could since a full bladder was better. I wish someone had mentioned this sooner.
Within 15 minutes of my second arrival, I was taken back to a room by a pregnant nun. I was told to strip from the waist down and sit on the funky reclining table with the paper sheet over my naked parts. I usually am left in these freezing cold rooms forever, but I only waited about 5 minutes before Dr. Wonderful (Yay!) came in with her sexy vampire assistant and got down to business.
I put my feet in the stirrups and scooted down to the edge of the table. The actual procedure took about 2 minutes from speculum to done. I felt a slight cramping sensation when she inserted the long, skinny tube thingy, but no actual pain or even discomfort.
The vampire quickly tilted my table back until I almost slid off head first and then adjusted the head part back up until I felt like I was sitting in a big baby carrier. Dr. Wonderful asked if I was cold and then told me that she wanted me to stay like this for 20-30 minutes and then a nurse would come back and let me know when I could get up and get dressed.
I didn't wear a watch and there were no clocks in the room, so I have no idea how long I actually stayed there, but it felt longer than 30 minutes. Longer is better I guess. I had brought a book to read, but opted to just lay there and concentrate on getting pregnant.
Finally the nurse came back and I cleaned up and got dressed. I was very surprised at how much liquid there was. When I told the Husband, he asked if I was worried that everything got to where it needed to be. I told him that Dr. Wonderful had mentioned the wet factor and that I am sure it was normal, but I still worried until I came home and researched it.
When I was cleaning up I noticed a slight hint of pink and when I got home it was a very light shade of dark pink, like old blood. Just the slightest bit and no cramping at this point. I went back to bed since I had to work that night and when I woke up I felt fine. About 9 pm that night, 12 hours after the IUI, I felt a cramping feeling in my right ovary area and back. I am wondering if it was ovulation. I drank some water and the feeling went away. It lasted about 1 hour total time. The next morning I had slight cramping in the same area, but milder and it only lasted for about 15 minutes. I have felt completely normal since then.
Dr. Wonderful said that I can test 2 weeks from the day of the IUI. Anything before that could read false positive I guess. I am trying to be cautiously optimistic, but I have a good feeling about this cycle. We will know soon enough I guess.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Update on the shot
Sorry about leaving anyone hanging, but these last several days have been insane for us because of a huge craft sale a good friend and I were doing. That is over and I am here to fill in all the details on our little adventure.
I am scared of needles. I have gotten better (don't you kind of have to when you are undergoing fertility testing and treatment? It's really inconvenient to panic and faint that often.), but I still am very nervous about them and just try not to think about it too much when I need a shot or blood drawn. That was my plan for this Ovidrel shot and it worked until about 5 hours before the scheduled 9 pm torture.
I read the instructions several times and decided that 8 pm would be plenty of time for the meds to get to room temp. At about 8:50 pm I handed the Husband the instructions and went to the first aid kit to pull out gauze pads and alcohol swabs. By 9 pm on the dot the Husband was on his knees, pinching by belly fat and ready to jab the needle in. This is when the real panic set in. I wasn't sure if I was going to hyperventilate or pass out first. I was holding onto the bathroom counter for support and was afraid to open my eyes for fear of seeing the needle jamming into my stomach in the mirror.
Turns out I didn't feel a thing. He told me the needle was already in and the only time I might have felt a slight sting was for a fraction of a second when he started pushing the plunger. He did the whole professional hold the gauze pad over and remove the needle and I held it there for a few minutes, but when I took it away I couldn't even see where the needle had punctured me or feel where it was either. I did develop a bruise about the size of a quarter in the spot, but it is not sore at all.
Later that night I crawled into bed and started thinking that I really should have read the info that came with the meds to know what side effects to look for (translation: worry about). Good thing I did the shot before reading the side effects. I told the Husband that I was even more resolved that if this cycle doesn't work then we move on to adoption. The thought of OHSS is enough to make me light headed, and the risk for cancer, minute as it might be, is not something I am willing to risk time and time again.
Tomorrow I will give you all the crazy details of the actual IUI procedure. I had a hard time finding really good details from people who have experienced IUI when I did a search, so I want to give a really detailed blow by blow of my experience so maybe it will help someone frantically googling IUI to know what to expect.
I am scared of needles. I have gotten better (don't you kind of have to when you are undergoing fertility testing and treatment? It's really inconvenient to panic and faint that often.), but I still am very nervous about them and just try not to think about it too much when I need a shot or blood drawn. That was my plan for this Ovidrel shot and it worked until about 5 hours before the scheduled 9 pm torture.
I read the instructions several times and decided that 8 pm would be plenty of time for the meds to get to room temp. At about 8:50 pm I handed the Husband the instructions and went to the first aid kit to pull out gauze pads and alcohol swabs. By 9 pm on the dot the Husband was on his knees, pinching by belly fat and ready to jab the needle in. This is when the real panic set in. I wasn't sure if I was going to hyperventilate or pass out first. I was holding onto the bathroom counter for support and was afraid to open my eyes for fear of seeing the needle jamming into my stomach in the mirror.
Turns out I didn't feel a thing. He told me the needle was already in and the only time I might have felt a slight sting was for a fraction of a second when he started pushing the plunger. He did the whole professional hold the gauze pad over and remove the needle and I held it there for a few minutes, but when I took it away I couldn't even see where the needle had punctured me or feel where it was either. I did develop a bruise about the size of a quarter in the spot, but it is not sore at all.
Later that night I crawled into bed and started thinking that I really should have read the info that came with the meds to know what side effects to look for (translation: worry about). Good thing I did the shot before reading the side effects. I told the Husband that I was even more resolved that if this cycle doesn't work then we move on to adoption. The thought of OHSS is enough to make me light headed, and the risk for cancer, minute as it might be, is not something I am willing to risk time and time again.
Tomorrow I will give you all the crazy details of the actual IUI procedure. I had a hard time finding really good details from people who have experienced IUI when I did a search, so I want to give a really detailed blow by blow of my experience so maybe it will help someone frantically googling IUI to know what to expect.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Getting ready for our first IUI
Long time no update. Well, after the depressing cancelled cycle a few months ago, I did a month of BC pills. I used to love my BC pills. Until I went on them I always had really irregular cycles, sometimes 6 weeks long, and horrible cramping when my period actually showed up. Once we decided to start trying and I went off the pill I was worried my cycle would revert back to unpredictable, but amazingly it has stayed at a rather consistent 28-29 days with the rare exception.
In my fond recollections of the pill, I forgot the miserable nausea that accompanied that first month of adjusting. I survived it and was rewarded with a much lighter period and cramps so mild I never even needed Tylenol. Too bad I am over 35 and would rather not stroke out or I would be back on the pill so fast (after having a baby of course) that your head would spin.
I did the Femara for cycle days 5-9 and went in yesterday for my day 12 ultrasound. I had mentally prepped myself for failure so when the wonderful tech (no Dr. McBitch thankyouverymuch) pointed out a few good prospects on my right ovary, I was just a little excited. Of course my underachieving left ovary couldn't contribute, but what can you do.
Both Dr's were in surgery so I was told they would review my scan and have a nurse call me either later that day or the next morning with directions for the next steps. I had been gone from the office for about 30 minutes when Dr. McBitch called and told me that I had two great follicles at 17mm and 18mm and also a giant follicle ready to go at any time that measured 25mm. She suggested timed intercourse for that night and then the Husband was cut off until his "donation" on Friday morning at 8 am. Once we drop that off, we can have breakfast and be back at 9 am for the procedure. He gets to jam a needle in my stomach for the Ovidrel tonight at 9 pm.
They forgot to give me a specimen cup so I have to go to the local lab and swindle them out of one per the Dr's instructions. We live close to an hour away from the office so I need to consult with the Husband and see if he would rather chance an old sample by doing his part at home or an arrest for indecent exposure by finding a secluded parking lot closer to the office. The first time he went through this for testing purposes, we also lived far from the lab and were lucky to be the only ones on an empty level of a parking garage. This office has no parking garage so wish us luck.
I guess I will report back on how the injection went if I don't die from the mere thought of him stabbing me with the needle. I just took the package out of the fridge where it has been sitting since the last cancelled cycle and took a look at the needle. It is sealed up in it's little package and I didn't want to break it open yet, but judging by the cap it is not as big as I had imagined it to be. Still, I get a little light headed just thinking about it.
Wish us luck.
In my fond recollections of the pill, I forgot the miserable nausea that accompanied that first month of adjusting. I survived it and was rewarded with a much lighter period and cramps so mild I never even needed Tylenol. Too bad I am over 35 and would rather not stroke out or I would be back on the pill so fast (after having a baby of course) that your head would spin.
I did the Femara for cycle days 5-9 and went in yesterday for my day 12 ultrasound. I had mentally prepped myself for failure so when the wonderful tech (no Dr. McBitch thankyouverymuch) pointed out a few good prospects on my right ovary, I was just a little excited. Of course my underachieving left ovary couldn't contribute, but what can you do.
Both Dr's were in surgery so I was told they would review my scan and have a nurse call me either later that day or the next morning with directions for the next steps. I had been gone from the office for about 30 minutes when Dr. McBitch called and told me that I had two great follicles at 17mm and 18mm and also a giant follicle ready to go at any time that measured 25mm. She suggested timed intercourse for that night and then the Husband was cut off until his "donation" on Friday morning at 8 am. Once we drop that off, we can have breakfast and be back at 9 am for the procedure. He gets to jam a needle in my stomach for the Ovidrel tonight at 9 pm.
They forgot to give me a specimen cup so I have to go to the local lab and swindle them out of one per the Dr's instructions. We live close to an hour away from the office so I need to consult with the Husband and see if he would rather chance an old sample by doing his part at home or an arrest for indecent exposure by finding a secluded parking lot closer to the office. The first time he went through this for testing purposes, we also lived far from the lab and were lucky to be the only ones on an empty level of a parking garage. This office has no parking garage so wish us luck.
I guess I will report back on how the injection went if I don't die from the mere thought of him stabbing me with the needle. I just took the package out of the fridge where it has been sitting since the last cancelled cycle and took a look at the needle. It is sealed up in it's little package and I didn't want to break it open yet, but judging by the cap it is not as big as I had imagined it to be. Still, I get a little light headed just thinking about it.
Wish us luck.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Lots of stuff, but nothing good
Well, we found out while on vaca that I am not pregnant. We called the Doctor's office and ordered the injectibles (ovidrel) and took the femara and patiently waited for our 12 day scan for our first insemination cycle.
The scan sucked. Actually, I guess it was actually my ovaries that suck. Lazy, worthless ovaries. The appointment sucked on so many levels it's not even funny.
It started out bad with no parking anywhere near the office. I ended up parking really far away in staff parking for the actual hospital and was a little late for the appointment. Turned out that was fine as I ended up waiting another 45 minutes anyways. The waiting room was so packed that I could barely find a seat. Everyone was pregnant or holding newborns.
When I was finally called back into the exam room I spent another 20 minutes naked from the waist down, covered in a paper sheet and freezing. When the Doctor finally graced me with her presence, it turned out not to be my beloved Dr. Wonderful, as we shall now refer to her, but instead her evil partner, Dr. McBitch.
Now, keep in mind I have never met Dr. McBitch. Never even layed eyes on her, so when her first words to me where "You need to get pregnant. You are making me look bad.", I was torn about how to reply to this. My first instinct was to come back with "Yep, you caught me. I spent the last 10 years pretending to attempt a successful pregnancy, but secretly I have been sabotaging myself just to screw up your friggen stats." In the end I decided to keep my mouth shut since I was aware that this is the same woman who would soon be wielding the ultrasound wand and aiming for my difficult to locate left ovary.
She confirmed that my uterus still exists (the way things go for me, it's always safe to just check) and she went for the left ovary first. There were potentials, but not of any size to write home about. It's cool, I thought, my right ovary is really my favorite anyway. Turns out that my right ovary stabbed me in the back too. Nothing of any value on either side. Apparently, I had a remaining follicle (forgive me if this is wrong, but she threw a lot of stuff at me at one time and I was too busy trying not to cry like a big baby to write it down) on my left ovary that likely prevented my ovaries from doing their one and only job and making me some usable eggs.
Our course of action was/is to finish this cycle and start birth control pills for the next cycle. This should clear up the issues and we will try an insemination cycle again the following month. Today is day 2 of my BCP cycle and my little pre-filled syringe of Ovidrel is ready and waiting in the fridge.
At first I was crushed. The way she phrased things was that we had no hope of insemination working and we would have to step up our game to injectibles to even have a chance. That is not an option for us, as injectibles are the primary cause of high order multiples and we are not really all that interested in having a litter of children. After a bit of clarification, she offered a ray of hope by stating that she really felt confident about this plan working for us, since she was sure that the Femara was working.
I felt better for about 10 seconds before she chided me for tearing up and told me that I had no reason to cry and that lots of women were in far worse situations that me. That is true, but does that mean I can't indulge in a bit of self pity once in a while. That comment stung, but I got past that as soon as the blinding rage kicked in from her next statements. Apparently she has two healthy young boys, but had to use in vitro for her first pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage. I explained that I had also suffered pregnancy loss, but according to the good doctor, mine doesn't count as much as hers since she spent $50,000 on her failed pregnancy. It's times like these that I really wish someone had explained the whole monetary value to grief policy to me. I mean, I felt so silly whining about my own to dead babies when hers was obviously more important because it was expensive.
To my credit, my head did not explode and I did not assault her with the handiest blunt object. I love my real doctor way to much to risk a restraining order. The Husband and I discussed it and I will be very clear in future appointment making sessions to stress that I will only see Dr. Wonderful. And just to be on the safe side, I will leave the handgun at home for all OB/Gyn appointments from now on.
The scan sucked. Actually, I guess it was actually my ovaries that suck. Lazy, worthless ovaries. The appointment sucked on so many levels it's not even funny.
It started out bad with no parking anywhere near the office. I ended up parking really far away in staff parking for the actual hospital and was a little late for the appointment. Turned out that was fine as I ended up waiting another 45 minutes anyways. The waiting room was so packed that I could barely find a seat. Everyone was pregnant or holding newborns.
When I was finally called back into the exam room I spent another 20 minutes naked from the waist down, covered in a paper sheet and freezing. When the Doctor finally graced me with her presence, it turned out not to be my beloved Dr. Wonderful, as we shall now refer to her, but instead her evil partner, Dr. McBitch.
Now, keep in mind I have never met Dr. McBitch. Never even layed eyes on her, so when her first words to me where "You need to get pregnant. You are making me look bad.", I was torn about how to reply to this. My first instinct was to come back with "Yep, you caught me. I spent the last 10 years pretending to attempt a successful pregnancy, but secretly I have been sabotaging myself just to screw up your friggen stats." In the end I decided to keep my mouth shut since I was aware that this is the same woman who would soon be wielding the ultrasound wand and aiming for my difficult to locate left ovary.
She confirmed that my uterus still exists (the way things go for me, it's always safe to just check) and she went for the left ovary first. There were potentials, but not of any size to write home about. It's cool, I thought, my right ovary is really my favorite anyway. Turns out that my right ovary stabbed me in the back too. Nothing of any value on either side. Apparently, I had a remaining follicle (forgive me if this is wrong, but she threw a lot of stuff at me at one time and I was too busy trying not to cry like a big baby to write it down) on my left ovary that likely prevented my ovaries from doing their one and only job and making me some usable eggs.
Our course of action was/is to finish this cycle and start birth control pills for the next cycle. This should clear up the issues and we will try an insemination cycle again the following month. Today is day 2 of my BCP cycle and my little pre-filled syringe of Ovidrel is ready and waiting in the fridge.
At first I was crushed. The way she phrased things was that we had no hope of insemination working and we would have to step up our game to injectibles to even have a chance. That is not an option for us, as injectibles are the primary cause of high order multiples and we are not really all that interested in having a litter of children. After a bit of clarification, she offered a ray of hope by stating that she really felt confident about this plan working for us, since she was sure that the Femara was working.
I felt better for about 10 seconds before she chided me for tearing up and told me that I had no reason to cry and that lots of women were in far worse situations that me. That is true, but does that mean I can't indulge in a bit of self pity once in a while. That comment stung, but I got past that as soon as the blinding rage kicked in from her next statements. Apparently she has two healthy young boys, but had to use in vitro for her first pregnancy which ended in a miscarriage. I explained that I had also suffered pregnancy loss, but according to the good doctor, mine doesn't count as much as hers since she spent $50,000 on her failed pregnancy. It's times like these that I really wish someone had explained the whole monetary value to grief policy to me. I mean, I felt so silly whining about my own to dead babies when hers was obviously more important because it was expensive.
To my credit, my head did not explode and I did not assault her with the handiest blunt object. I love my real doctor way to much to risk a restraining order. The Husband and I discussed it and I will be very clear in future appointment making sessions to stress that I will only see Dr. Wonderful. And just to be on the safe side, I will leave the handgun at home for all OB/Gyn appointments from now on.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Sorry it's been so long
But there is just not much to post right now. We did another Femara cycle and today is day 19. We leave for vacation this friday and I should know if I am knocked up or not by the time we get back. Yes, I am packing pregnancy tests in my suitcase.
I actually had a really good month with the Femara. No side effects at all.
Of course several days after the drug was totally out of my system I started feeling that achey feeling I have had several times with the Rx. Turned out to be some weird bug. I was fine that morning, started feeling horrible after a few hours at work. Left early with a fever, chills and the feeling that I had been hit by a semi.
I spent the rest of the day sleeping with the exception of a small break to whine until the Husband cooked me chicken and dumplings. It was pretty good chicken and dumplings too, but it would have been better if he didn't have to wake me up every step of the process to ask what to do next.
My fever broke around 3:30 the next morning and I have been fine since.
We are waiting for the rain and winds from the Hurricane/Tropical Storm hitting the area. We don't expect too much from it, but it's best to be prepared.
All in all it has been a pretty boring month and I am looking forward to vacation and coming back here with good news.
I actually had a really good month with the Femara. No side effects at all.
Of course several days after the drug was totally out of my system I started feeling that achey feeling I have had several times with the Rx. Turned out to be some weird bug. I was fine that morning, started feeling horrible after a few hours at work. Left early with a fever, chills and the feeling that I had been hit by a semi.
I spent the rest of the day sleeping with the exception of a small break to whine until the Husband cooked me chicken and dumplings. It was pretty good chicken and dumplings too, but it would have been better if he didn't have to wake me up every step of the process to ask what to do next.
My fever broke around 3:30 the next morning and I have been fine since.
We are waiting for the rain and winds from the Hurricane/Tropical Storm hitting the area. We don't expect too much from it, but it's best to be prepared.
All in all it has been a pretty boring month and I am looking forward to vacation and coming back here with good news.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Why won't they just return the call?
Okay, so I'm not pregnant and I need to refill my Femara rx. I started my cycle on Friday and was busy so I didn't get a chance to call the Dr's office to ask them to call it in to my pharmacy. Shouldn't be a problem since I don't need to start taking it until Tuesday night.
I call them first thing Monday morning. I leave a very detailed message about who I am and what I need and that I need it soon. They don't call back. So I call again Tuesday morning. I tell the receptionist my issue. I always leave messages and they never call back. She transfers me to another person's voicemail. This one has a message promising a call back by the end of the day. At 4:43 P.M. I place another call stating that I need the meds now and I know they are getting ready to close. After another 10 minutes on hold, I finally get a nurse who promises to call it in. I really could have saved myself a lot of trouble and just called in 5 minutes before they closed.
I call them first thing Monday morning. I leave a very detailed message about who I am and what I need and that I need it soon. They don't call back. So I call again Tuesday morning. I tell the receptionist my issue. I always leave messages and they never call back. She transfers me to another person's voicemail. This one has a message promising a call back by the end of the day. At 4:43 P.M. I place another call stating that I need the meds now and I know they are getting ready to close. After another 10 minutes on hold, I finally get a nurse who promises to call it in. I really could have saved myself a lot of trouble and just called in 5 minutes before they closed.
Friday, August 1, 2008
All I need to do is blog
Apparently, all I need to do is blog to get my next cycle to start. Guess I need to call the Dr's Office today to get a refill on my Femara. I used my last refill last month.
I am trying really hard to not get too worked up or discouraged, but it is getting harder and harder.
The son and girlfriend of a friend of a friend are pregnant. Three months so far. He is 19 and in college, but taking a break to work off some debt . The girl is 18 and works part time at a decent job considering she is young and only a high school graduate. They are living with his mother (the friend of my friend) because the girl's family life if highly unstable (Mom's in jail for a domestic between her and her pregnant daughter) and the friend of my friend ( we will call her Marsha) feels that the only reason the girl (who shall now be known as Suzy) is having the baby is because she thinks it ensures her of a place to live with the boyfriend (not known as Rob)and Marsha.
Marsha sat down with Bob and Suzy and explained to them that this was their decision, but the needed to understand that she would not be supporting their new family and that they needed to figure out how they were going to make this work. Bob seems to really not care what happens, but Suzy is caught up in the baby excitement and convinced it will all work out.
Marsha mentioned adoption to them and they did not shoot the idea down, but they didn't jump at it either. Suzy is taking the lead and all she has on her mind is how cool it will be to dress the baby up and play house. Marsha is convinced that they will see the truth soon enough and maybe meet with the Husband and I to discuss the option of us adopting the baby. We are happy to involve them in the baby's life to a certain extent. Lots of pictures and updates, invitations to birthday parties and maybe a few visits a year.
Who knows if they will decide to consider adoption and if so, if they would even consider us. I can't help but be a little excited thinking about it. We never intended to pursue private adoption. The whole thought is a bit scary and uncertain, but so is life and if something falls into our laps, then who are we to dismiss the possibility.
The baby is due in January. There is still plenty of time for all kinds of things to happen. I will post as we hear more.
I am trying really hard to not get too worked up or discouraged, but it is getting harder and harder.
The son and girlfriend of a friend of a friend are pregnant. Three months so far. He is 19 and in college, but taking a break to work off some debt . The girl is 18 and works part time at a decent job considering she is young and only a high school graduate. They are living with his mother (the friend of my friend) because the girl's family life if highly unstable (Mom's in jail for a domestic between her and her pregnant daughter) and the friend of my friend ( we will call her Marsha) feels that the only reason the girl (who shall now be known as Suzy) is having the baby is because she thinks it ensures her of a place to live with the boyfriend (not known as Rob)and Marsha.
Marsha sat down with Bob and Suzy and explained to them that this was their decision, but the needed to understand that she would not be supporting their new family and that they needed to figure out how they were going to make this work. Bob seems to really not care what happens, but Suzy is caught up in the baby excitement and convinced it will all work out.
Marsha mentioned adoption to them and they did not shoot the idea down, but they didn't jump at it either. Suzy is taking the lead and all she has on her mind is how cool it will be to dress the baby up and play house. Marsha is convinced that they will see the truth soon enough and maybe meet with the Husband and I to discuss the option of us adopting the baby. We are happy to involve them in the baby's life to a certain extent. Lots of pictures and updates, invitations to birthday parties and maybe a few visits a year.
Who knows if they will decide to consider adoption and if so, if they would even consider us. I can't help but be a little excited thinking about it. We never intended to pursue private adoption. The whole thought is a bit scary and uncertain, but so is life and if something falls into our laps, then who are we to dismiss the possibility.
The baby is due in January. There is still plenty of time for all kinds of things to happen. I will post as we hear more.
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